The other night as I was snuggling Bennett to sleep, my thoughts kept going to his birth mama. I kept thinking about how she must be wondering what her baby boy is like, where he is living, and if he is okay. I thought I would share the letter I wrote to her on here.
Dear Bennett’s Birth Mama,
I imagine that you spend a lot of time thinking about your baby boy and wondering what happened to him. Before I even start telling you about him, I want to say thank you. Thank you for choosing life for your baby. I do not know if you had any other children or if Bennett’s medical need is why you could not raise him, but thank you for choosing life for him.
I don’t know the circumstances surrounding when you left him, but I always picture you leaving him with tears streaming down your cheeks. You left him in a very busy place, so I know you wanted him to be found. He was five days old when he was left by you, I imagine that you spent those first five days holding him and praying that somehow things were not as bad as they seemed. Once he became so sick that you had no other choice, you kissed his sweet cheeks, his dimples, his beautiful eyes and said good bye. You did not have the money to pay for his surgery, so you left him in hopes that he would receive his surgery because this is the only way in your country.
I want you to know that he was found. He was in rough shape, but he was found. He is a miracle. He was found on Christmas Eve and his life was saved on Christmas Day. The doctors did it, they saved your little boy’s life! He had a rough surgery and time in the hospital, but as you know, our boy is strong. He went to an orphanage from there and he was well loved. I have walked in the doors of that orphanage and seen the faces of the children in there. They desperately need families, but they are loved. About two months after his first surgery, he had to undergo another major surgery. He was hospitalized for over three weeks again and then went back to the orphanage. At seven months old, he went to live with his foster grandma. I never met her, but I have seen her in pictures and have heard about her from our agency. She spoiled him like any grandma would do. She loved him well.
On July 19, 2014, I felt a clear tug on my heart from God that it was time to start our adoption process. That night I saw our boy’s face and I knew he was going to come home to our family. We loved him from the first second we saw his face. We faced so many obstacles bringing him home, but God was faithful, and He showed up in ways that only He can. We pursued Bennett like only a mother and father could because we knew he was going to have a family again.
When we sent the package to Bennett in China, his foster grandma did a great job preparing him to come home. I wish I could have met her to thank her for this. She was his caretaker, his embrace to go to when he was sad, the one who rocked him to sleep at night for two years. I will never be able to thank her enough for how she loved our boy.
Bennett is home now, with his forever family. I am so sorry that you were not able to raise your son. He is a gift to us and we will never take that for granted. He has an older brother, an older sister, and a “twin” sister. We truly love him just like our biological children and they see him as just as much a sibling as the rest of their siblings. He has a whole community of people who pulled together to bring him home. He is loved. He. is. loved.
I want to tell you about him too. He is funny and smart and wild and kind and crazy and beautiful. He is learning english quick and has made communicating with him so much easier than we thought it could possibly be. He is into everything. All the time. He likes to unlock windows, pull things down, leave sinks running, shut doors, turn off lights, empty everything, climb on things, jump on the bed…I think you get the idea. He makes sure we are exhausted by bed time. He says “don’t touch” often, so you can imagine what he has to hear from us many times a day. He can be gentle with our dogs, but we are working on making sure that is the case 100% of the time. As soon as he hears music, he starts dancing. He snuggles us to fall asleep at night (and actually just curled up on my lap and fell asleep for his nap as I was typing this!). He shares a room with his big brother, but if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he knows exactly how to get to our bed. He played in the snow the other day and only lasted five minutes. He had high ambitions for the day, but he was not quite a fan. He loves pizza, peanut butter and jelly, and yogurt. He is so, so handsome.
He has surgery next week with one of the best colorectal surgeons in the country. He is going to be in great hands, but we are still scared. He is going to get all the care he needs here, but I have fallen for that boy so hard, it makes the thought of him going into surgery unbearable. We promise that we will take good care of him.
We promise to always talk about China with Bennett and to let him know how much you loved him. You loved him enough to get the medical care he needed to save his life. We promise that we will always speak of you with love and respect in this house. We pray that you will come to know Jesus and that you will be able to get to know your son in Heaven one day.
We can not thank you enough for this boy.
Bennett’s Second Mama